STUDENT
SUPPORT SERVICES
Guidance Services
TALKING
TO CHILDREN ABOUT TERRORISM AND WAR
In today's world, parents are faced with the challenge of explaining
violence, terrorism and war to children. Although difficult, these conversations
are extremely important. They give parents an opportunity to help their
children feel more secure and understand the world in which they live.
The following information can be helpful to parents when discussing these
issues:
Listen
to Children:
| 1. |
Create
a time and place for children
to ask their questions. Don't
force children to talk about
things until they're ready. |
| 2. |
Remember
that children tend to personalize
situations. For example, they
may worry about friends or relatives
who live in a city or state associated
with incidents or events. |
| 3. |
Help
children find ways to express
themselves. Some children may
not be able to talk about their
thoughts, feelings, or fears.
They may be more comfortable
drawing pictures, playing with
toys, or writing stories or poems
directly or indirectly related
to current events. |
Answer
Children's Questions:
| 1. |
Use
words and concepts your child
can understand. Make your explanation
appropriate to your child's age
and level of understanding. Don't
overload a child with too much
information. |
| 2. |
Give
children honest answers and information.
Children will usually know if
you're not being honest. |
| 3. |
Be
prepared to repeat explanations
or have several conversations.
Some information may be hard
to accept or understand. Asking
the same question over and over
may be your child's way of asking
for reassurance. |
| 4. |
Acknowledge
and support your child's thoughts,
feelings, and reactions. Let
your child know that you think
their questions and concerns
are important. |
| 5. |
Be
consistent and reassuring, but
don't make unrealistic promises. |
| 6. |
Avoid
stereotyping groups of people
by race, nationality or religion.
Use the opportunity to teach
tolerance and explain prejudice. |
| 7. |
Remember
that children learn from watching
their parents and teachers. They
are very interested in how you
respond to events. They learn
from listening to your conversations
with other adults. |
| 8. |
Let
children know how you are feeling.
It's OK for them to know if you
are anxious or worried about
events. However, don't burden
them with your concerns. |
| 9. |
Don't
confront your child's way of
handling events. If a child feels
reassured by saying that things
are happening "very far away," it's
usually best not to disagree.
The child may need to think about
events this way to feel safe. |
Provide
Support:
| 1. |
Don't
let children watch lots of violent
or upsetting images on TV. Repetitive
frightening images or scenes
can be very disturbing, especially
to young children. |
| 2. |
Help
children establish a predictable
routine and schedule. Children
are reassured by structure and
familiarity. School, sports,
birthdays, holidays, and group
activities take on added importance
during stressful times. |
| 3. |
Coordinate
information between home and
school. Parents should know about
activities and discussions at
school. Teachers should know
about the child's specific fears
or concerns. |
| 4. |
Children
who have experienced trauma or
losses may show more intense
reactions to tragedies or news
of war or terrorist incidents.
These children may need extra
support and attention. |
| 5. |
Watch
for physical symptoms related
to stress. Many children show
anxiety and stress through complaints
of physical aches and pains. |
| 6. |
Watch
for possible preoccupation with
violent movies or war theme video/computer
games. |
| 7. |
Children
who seem preoccupied or very
stressed about war, fighting,
or terrorism should be evaluated
by a qualified mental health
professional. Other signs that
a child may need professional
help include: ongoing trouble
sleeping, persistent upsetting
thoughts, fearful images, intense
fears about death, and trouble
leaving their parents or going
to school. The child's physician
can assist with appropriate referrals. |
| 8. |
Help
children communicate with others
and express themselves at home.
Some children may want to write
letters to the President, Governor,
local newspaper, or to grieving
families. |
| 9. |
Let
children be children. They may
not want to think or talk a lot
about these events. It is OK
if they'd rather play ball, climb
trees, or ride their bike, etc. |
War
and terrorism are not easy for anyone to
comprehend or accept. Understandably, many
young children feel confused, upset, and
anxious. Parents, teachers, and caring
adults can help by listening and responding
in an honest, consistent, and supportive
manner. Most children, even those exposed
to trauma, are quite resilient. Like most
adults, they can and do get through difficult
times and go on with their lives. By creating
an open environment where they feel free
to ask questions, parents can help them
cope and reduce the possibility of emotional
difficulties.
.
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) represents
over 6900 child and adolescent psychiatrists who are physicians with
at least five years of additional training beyond medical school in general
(adult) and child and adolescent psychiatry.
The
Facts for Families(c) series is developed
and distributed by the American Academy
of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP).
Facts sheets may be reproduced for personal
or educational use without written permission,
but cannot be included in material presented
for sale.
Website
with additional information to help students
with war-related counseling issues:
www.cmionline.org -
Crisis Management Institute
www.schoolcounselor.org -
American School Counselor Association
www.ncpsychiatry.org/coloringbook -
site has free 21 page coloring booklet
for counselors working with deployed families
or talking about the war.
www.nccev.org -
National Center for Children Exposed to
Violence website.
www.apa.org -
American Psychological Association
www.nasponline.org -
National Association of School Psychologists |
